I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize