i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize