Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
