i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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