Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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