were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
