And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
