She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize