I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
