im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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