Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
