I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
