a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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