3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
