Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
