im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize