I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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