Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
