Only a mothe r could love this liver
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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