everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize