remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
