Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
