So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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