i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Randomize
