Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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