I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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