My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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