drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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