Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
