How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
