So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
