Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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