i would punch a child for taco bell
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
