I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
