The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize