How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
