Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
