i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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