Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
