I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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