Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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