Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
