You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I still have a little drunk in my system
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
