yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
