I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
