Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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