yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
