And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He passed out mid-signature
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
