I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
