hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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