I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You know, be my cock's hype man.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
