i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sext me about skeletons
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize