distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
