i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
