I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
