Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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