mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
are you so shy because you have an std?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
