Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
