He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
