this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
